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Overheard in Kentucky!

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haha. . . [19 Dec 2007|05:44am]

overheard while walking in Central Park in Ashland.

Random girl to random guy: I told her his penis was inadequate. . .
Random guy to random girl: Oh my god, it was for me too!
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What's your fantasy? [13 Sep 2006|07:16pm]

[ mood | nauseated ]

Rotund Woman: That looked like something from a porn channel!

- Highlands, Festa Italiana, after a pizza eating contest

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You're sure I wouldn't have to pay? [16 Jul 2006|10:05pm]

[ mood | amused ]

Standing in the line for Thunder Run; there's a girl near the exit crying because she was too short to ride.

Ridiculously tall queer: Aw. I wish I could donate a few inches to her.
Straight Abercrombie Muscle: Can you do that?
RTQ: Yeah, you want some?
SAM: Yes.
RTQ: How many inches would you like?
SAM: About three, please.
RTQ: -cocks eyebrow- Aaand where do you want these three inches?
SAM: -laughs-
SAM's wife: I don't get it. You'd want it in your legs, right? I mean, you'd look weird with a longer neck.
SAM, whispering to wife.
SAM's wife, pink faced and smiling: Oh.

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Gays + Booze= Hilarity [19 Jun 2006|11:20am]

At the Pride Festival:

Burly Guy: I can't say that I know that particular midget.

- - -

Baby Gay: You won't respect me in the morning.
Older Guy: You're assuming I'll still be there in the morning.

- - -

Sopping wet guy: In four hours I've seen all of my exes...who the fuck thought this thing was a good idea?

- - -

Drunk Guy eating a hot dog: Jesus, it's like all the Lesbians are in the fountain. Last time I saw that much fish in water, it was at a lake. Seriously. I didn't know the Pride Festival had a stocked pond. I should've brought my fishing pole. I coulda caught the rare Mullet-Head Trout.

- - -

Straight Girl: Why are there so many children here?
Cynical guy walking by: We're recruiting today.

- - -

Flaming Queen: LOOK! There's a booth selling gay pride stuff here!
Same Cynical Guy Walking By: No shit, Sherlock? Where the hell do you think you are...

- - -

Fashion Fag: Look, the cops are holding donuts! How typical...
His Burly Friend: Listen faggot, I am not going BACK to jail because of your mouth...

Ah, I love it when I can laugh all day by eavesdropping.
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...There's an Aquaman joke in here somewhere... [13 Jun 2006|10:34am]

Attorney: I know it sounds bad, but everytime I walk into the courthouse I have to giggle a little at the name. "Hall of Justice". It makes me think that I'm going to turn around and find the SuperFriends in the jury box or something...

5th & Jefferson
Hall of Justice
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Only meat fills him [29 May 2006|12:24am]

[ mood | amused ]

Chick: Would you ever be a vegetarian?
Gay Guy: I was, for years.
Chick: Why'd you stop?
Gay Guy: I was hungry.
Chick: -blinks-

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Maybe it's just a case of bad aim. [12 May 2006|11:46pm]

[ mood | giggly ]

Girl: "...ripped me a new asshole."
Woman: "Wow. He MUST have been big!"

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Sorry, I didn't see your friend sitting there. [10 May 2006|02:34pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Employee: Hi, can I move this [third, empty] chair back to this table [with a missing chair]?
Customer: No, someone is sitting there.

I was in there for an hour and her purse was the only occupant of said chair.

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[09 May 2006|12:12pm]

Guy 1: ...but he was right. I sat on it, and it went right in.
Guy 2: Wow, I walked in on the wrong part of that conversation.

Annie's Cafe
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ill take my tofu extra spicy [07 May 2006|11:47pm]

woman 1: everything on this menu looks so good.
woman 2: we have to get some hummus, it is so good.
woman 1: what does it mean by vegan next to some of these things
woman 2: i think it means spicy.

heard at cafe 360
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Life -- it's what keeps us going [07 May 2006|11:41pm]

Son: Why does cereal taste so good?
Mother: I don't know.
Son: I do! If it weren't for cereal we wouldn't have anything to look forward to in the morning.
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